Socks vs. Monday

"What are you doin?"
"Just getting my spot in line"

"All prayers to god!  And god send me an email because I have to go to the grocery store"
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"It's Christmas...Deck the halls and spread a rumor about Santa"

"Look, a Christmas card."
"The card says 'I Love Sushi' "
"Her sister..."
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"Sigh...Five more days, Pepper"

" I don't have my lines.  What's this comic all about?"
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"Fine...He does that when he wants in"

"Twas the night before Christmas, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.  And Santa was packing his sleigh.  But sadly he didn't have enough toys.  So he had to do a little online shopping"

"Ever stretch this long? Or have this happen to you?"
"Is the pool closed?"
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"Yeah, SHARK!!!"
"The simple pleasures are the best ones"

"What's the matter, Rusty?"
"My aunt is coming to visit"
"What's so bad about that?"
"This is what she did to my wife"
"Good point"

"As you can see, I ate 10 French fry bites before we went on the Screamin Weevil"

"Hey dog!"
"Yes?"
"You're stupid...wait, before you swat me could you give me a last cigarette?"
"No". SMACK. "Those things can kill you"

"And the race is on!!!  ...And the race hurts"
"Slide 1, Pepper 0"
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"Whatcha doin?"
"Playing with the camera"

"I love parks!  Birds singing...Pepper smacking himself into me from the swing..."
"I'll get the chisel"

"Say Doc, how's Pepper?"
"Fine"
"How are you?"
"Fine"
"Ok if I pay by check?"
"Fine"
"How about a date?"
"No"
"Trick didn't work"

"Wait for it...BURP!!!!!"
"Maybe that rootbeer wasn't such a good idea"

"Age is a state of mind...with a healthy dose of denial"
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"Pepper, you may do anything you like...but stay out of my underwear!!!!"
"Why, I'm a boxer!"

"Hi"
"Uh hi...put glue on his tummy and hugged his present"